Here’s a phrase I hear all the time in hospitals every week.
“Hi… sorry to bother you.”
It’s usually a junior doctor calling another team about a patient.
This Small Phrase Quietly Reinforces a Big Cultural Problem in Medicine
It’s also an Intensive Care registrar calling neurosurgery. A medical registrar calling intensive care. An Emergency Department registrar calling cardiology. A registrar calling their consultant.
And almost every time, the call begins the same way:
“Hi, sorry to bother you…”
It’s a phrase that sounds polite. But when you stop and think about it, it’s wrong on almost every level.
The Problem With “Sorry”
Let’s start with the word sorry.
There are only two possible reasons to say it.
1. You are genuinely sorry
If that’s the case, something is wrong with the mental model.
You are calling about a patient. You’re seeking advice, expertise, or a review that may materially affect their care. If you are apologising for doing something that helps your patient, that suggests something in the professional culture has gone badly wrong.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for advocating for your patient.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for seeking expertise.
And you certainly shouldn’t apologise for doing your job.
2. You’re not sorry — you’re trying to be polite
In reality, this is what most people mean.
But when you pause and examine this seemingly innocuous, ubiquitous little word, you realise it creates a different problem:
it’s disingenuous.
You’re not actually sorry. What you’re really doing is trying to soften the interaction. Often, what sits underneath that is something else entirely:
fear.
Fear that the person you’re calling will be annoyed.
Fear that they’ll be dismissive.
Fear that they’ll somehow discover that you are, in fact, an imposter (that’s a whole other issue).
So “sorry” becomes a kind of verbal shield — a pre-emptive effort to reduce the chance of irritation.
Apologising for asking for help with patient care is a small linguistic habit that reveals a much larger cultural problem.
The Problem With “Bother”
Then comes the second part:
“…to bother you.”
Think about what that implies.
You are describing a discussion about patient care as a bother.
But how can that possibly be true?
Yes, the person you’re calling may be busy.
But so are you.
Everyone in the hospital is busy. That’s not the point.
They may even be tired, exhausted, or dealing with something difficult themselves.
But the point remains:
thinking about patients is literally the job.
When a colleague calls to discuss a patient, they are not bothering you. They are doing the exact thing the system is designed to facilitate: sharing expertise to achieve the best outcome for the patient.
If that feels like a bother, then the problem isn’t the phone call — and the solution certainly isn’t hiding behind phrases like the one in the title.
The problem is something much deeper: burnout, overload, or a toxic culture.
But the call itself is not the issue.
What the Phrase Really Does
When someone says “sorry to bother you,” the phrase subtly establishes a hierarchy.
It frames the interaction like this:
The caller is imposing.
The receiver is granting a favour.
But that’s not what’s actually happening.
What’s happening is this:
- One clinician has the patient.
- Another clinician has relevant expertise.
The phone call is simply the mechanism by which those two things come together.
It is not a favour.
It is not an imposition.
It is collaboration.
It is, in fact, the point.
Consultation in patient care is not a bother.
It is the job.
Medicine works because we share responsibility and expertise. When we treat consultations as nuisances or inconveniences, we undermine the entire system.
The Three Reasons We Call
When you call another team, there are usually only three reasons.
Transfer of care
You believe the patient should be admitted under that specialty.
Advice or a discussion over the phone
You need guidance on management, investigation, or decision-making. Perhaps you need a sounding board for a difficult case.
In-person review or intervention
You need the specialty to assess the patient at the bedside, or perform a procedure.
That’s it.
Every consultation falls into one of these categories.
And none of them require an apology.
What We Should Say Instead
Instead of apologising, we should start calls with gratitude and clarity.
Something like this:
“Hi, this is Stuart, the ICU registrar. Thanks for speaking with me…”
This does three important things.
It’s honest and authentic
You genuinely are grateful that expertise exists within the system.
It frames the interaction positively
You’re collaborating, not imposing.
It removes the unnecessary hierarchy
Two professionals discussing a patient.
Simple.
Direct.
Respectful.
Is There Time to Talk?
This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t respect people’s time.
While we shouldn’t apologise for calling, we do have a responsibility to use our time — and others’ time — efficiently.
So after introducing yourself and thanking them, confirm they are available to talk (unless this is a genuine emergency — and that term should never be misused).
For example:
“Hi, this is Stuart, the ICU registrar. Thanks for speaking with me. Do you have a few minutes to talk about a patient?”
If they don’t, that’s fine.
You can agree on a call-back time, or identify an alternative person if the clinical urgency requires it — perhaps another registrar or, if appropriate, the consultant.
Begin With the End in Mind
You’ve introduced yourself. You’ve thanked them. You’ve confirmed they have time to talk.
Now comes the most important part:
be clear about why you’re calling.
One of the most frustrating things for the consulted specialist is when the caller is vague or buries the core reason for the call.
Remember: there are only three reasons for a consultation call.
Your colleagues will appreciate knowing immediately where the conversation is heading.
Here are some examples.
To Haematology
“Hi, this is Stuart, one of the ICU registrars. Thanks for speaking with me. I need your advice about a patient who I’m concerned may have HIT. Do you have a few minutes?”
To Stroke
“Hi, this is Stuart, one of the ICU registrars. Thanks for speaking with me. I’d appreciate your review of a post-operative patient we think may have had a stroke. Do you have a few minutes?”
To General Surgery
“Hi, this is Stuart, one of the ICU registrars. Thanks for speaking with me. I’ve got a patient with abdominal pain I’d appreciate you reviewing. Do you have a few minutes?”
To Cardiology
“Hi, this is Stuart, one of the ICU registrars. Thanks for speaking with me. I’ve got a patient with a positive troponin and ECG changes who I think may have a non-STEMI. Do you have a few minutes to discuss?”
To Respiratory
“Hi, this is Stuart, one of the ICU registrars. Thanks for speaking with me. We’ve got a patient who likely needs admission under a respiratory bed card. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
To your consultant overnight
“Hi boss, it’s Stu. Thanks for speaking with me. Bed 5 is deteriorating and I’d appreciate your advice. Do you have a minute?”
And so on.
A Cultural Shift
Phrases like “sorry to bother you” might seem trivial.
But language reflects culture — and words carry weight.
Medicine still carries remnants of an older culture where:
- junior staff felt they had to apologise for asking questions
- specialties competed or blamed rather than collaborated
- people were shamed, dismissed, or belittled
That communication culture never helped patients.
And it certainly has no place in modern medicine.
Never Be Ashamed of Advocating for Your Patient
If you’re calling another team, it’s because you believe that conversation will improve patient care.
You have recognised a clinical need, identified the expertise required, and reached out to collaborate.
That is not something to apologise for.
It’s something to be proud of.
So the next time you pick up the phone, don’t start with:
“Sorry to bother you.”
Start with:
“Thanks for your time.”
Because collaboration in patient care is not a bother.
It’s the entire point.
tl;dr – One-Minute Takeaway
When calling another healthcare professional:
Don’t say
“Sorry to bother you…”
Instead day
“Thanks for speaking with me, do you have a minute to discuss a patient?”
Every call has one purpose:
- Advice on the phone
- In-person review or action
- Transfer of care
Gratitude and clarity beat apology.
Every. Time.